Sry I called you an 8
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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