So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
