I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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