Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
