Your tits are I can't wait for
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
