ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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