Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
