so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
