I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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