Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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