It was confusing and full of hummus
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There r osticjed everywhere
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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