Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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