the day after is always just damage control
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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