I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
