I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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