So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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