Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
