This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
