is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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