im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
