I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
