In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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