she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need water and some morals
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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