I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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