If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
