Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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