I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
