Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
