It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
