woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just want to make out with him forever
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