Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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