I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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