You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
