He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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