Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
