Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Im part way to drunk.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
