He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
