Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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