I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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