no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
