I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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