We won't sleep together?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
