even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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