we're blogging at a bar
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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