For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
