it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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