this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
