if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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