Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
