why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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