Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
